Losing it

So i've been told that I've been neglecting my blogging duties. The truth is, I've lost that touch. The ability to spun words into melodies. To actually sit down in front of my lappie and type something that would interest people, readers, you.

I've been doing some crying tonight, and it wasn't even about anything personal. I cried because of work. Something happened at work and it didn't happen the way I want it to be. So I cried. While confronting the fact that I've lost it at work too. The magical feeling of being able to produce something to be proud of.

I think I'm pathetic, because I've turned myself into a work-a-whore-lic. But all these time, it seems to be worth it because at the end of the day I can look back and tell myself, "Well done Rachy, that was awesome". But it's not awesome anymore when I work like a robot. Nothing personal, just machines doing their exact job of what they are supposed to do. Nothin more.

I want to cross that line. I want to cross that ocean! I hate to be blogging when I'm upset. It's the same way how I react when I'm angry. I'll be saying things that I don't mean. And writing it down meant I'll look back and remember this exact moment of frustration.

Sigh. I hope you didnt mind hearing me out. I hope the next time I blog, I'll be telling you a happy story.