Today I had a pretty long day. So to make myself feel better before I sleep, I'm going to share some freaking funny stuff I've found online. Read them and try not to laugh off your chair. Because I almost did. LOL
xxx
On Christmas Humor :
New-Age Rudolphs
It's kind of too late for Frosty the Snowman to quit smoking now, ain't it?
Heh. Now we know. lol.
xxx
On Twilight the movie :
Even I as a devoted Twilight fan have to salute the guys who made the video!
xxx
Warning : 18SX ahead
I saw Kim of DeliciouslyTacky posted this today, and it was freaking funny!! Apparently this guy named Abhilash Chandra blogged about how cyber sex gone wrong and its freaking hilarious! Read on, it's worth the lengthy post.
OMG hahaha!! Bloody blood ninja!! I hope this certainly make your day because it certainly made mine! :)
On Christmas Humor :
New-Age Rudolphs
It's kind of too late for Frosty the Snowman to quit smoking now, ain't it?
Heh. Now we know. lol.xxx
On Twilight the movie :
Even I as a devoted Twilight fan have to salute the guys who made the video!
xxx
Warning : 18SX ahead
I saw Kim of DeliciouslyTacky posted this today, and it was freaking funny!! Apparently this guy named Abhilash Chandra blogged about how cyber sex gone wrong and its freaking hilarious! Read on, it's worth the lengthy post.
Scenario 1 :
Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate: K, but don't tell anybody ;-)
DirtyKate: Who are you?
Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
Bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
Bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
Bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
Bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
Bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
**pause**
DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
Bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.
Bloodninja: I'm on my way now though
**pause**
DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
Bloodninja: How did you know?
Bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
Bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate: ooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
Bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
Bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate: What the fuck?
DirtyKate: You perverted piece of s**t
DirtyKate: F**k
Scenario 2 :
sweet17: Hi
Bloodninja: hello
Bloodninja: who is this?
sweet17: just a someone?
Bloodninja: A someone I know?
sweet17: nope
Bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
sweet17: well sorrrrrry
sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
Bloodninja: why?
sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
Bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
sweet17: yes?
Bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
sweet17: paranoid?
Bloodninja: yes
sweet17: of what?
sweet17: me?
Bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding.
sweet17: LOL
Bloodninja: Don't f**king laugh at me!
Bloodninja: This s**t is serious!
sweet17: What are you hiding from?
Bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: gimme a f**king break
Bloodninja: I'm serious.
sweet17: I don't get it
Bloodninja: The cops are after me.
sweet17: For what?
Bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states
sweet17: For???
Bloodninja: It's kind of embarrasing.
Bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
Bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You are f**king sick.
Bloodninja: Send me your picture.
sweet17: why?
Bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them.
sweet17: One of what?
Bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you
Bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
sweet17: hold on
Bloodninja: Hurry up.
Bloodninja: Are you there?
Bloodninja: F**k you, cop!
sweet17: Hey sorry
sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
Bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
Bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
Bloodninja: Weren't you!?
sweet17: thats not it
Bloodninja: Then what?
sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
Bloodninja: Most cops aren't
sweet17: IM NOT A F**KING COP YOU A**HOLE!
Bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail?
Bloodninja: Just send it through here.
sweet17: alright *PIC*
sweet17: Did you get it?
Bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking.
sweet17: That was me back in may
sweet17: I've lost weight since then.
Bloodninja: I hope so
sweet17: what?!?
sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
Bloodninja: Did it?
sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
Bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
sweet17: yes
Bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
sweet17: kks
Bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
sweet17: this isn't you.
Bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!
sweet17: You don't look like that.
Bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
Bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
Bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
Bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
Bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
sweet17: Go f**k yourself
Bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
Bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.
sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me.
sweet17: you hurt me.
Bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
Bloodninja: Why would I do that?
sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you
Bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
sweet17: F((K YOU!!!
Bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs.
sweet17: You're a F**KING A**HOLE!
sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
Bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry.
sweet17: No you aren't
Bloodninja: You're right. I'm not.
Bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
sweet17: I'm done with you
Bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry.
sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore
Bloodninja: Wait a sec
Bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
Bloodninja: Wanna start over?
sweet17: No
Bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty
sweet17: You'll what?
Bloodninja: You heard me.
Bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty.
sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
Bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
Bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men.
Bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
sweet17: Like what?
Bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
sweet17: I don't know
Bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
sweet17: I'm afraid to
Bloodninja: Why?
sweet17: cause
Bloodninja: cause why?
sweet17: well lets see
sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?
Bloodninja: Nope
sweet17: well its strange to me
Bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
sweet17: I didn't say that
Bloodninja: So is that a yes?
sweet17: I guess so.
Bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
Bloodninja: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
Bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17: ???
Bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
Bloodninja: ok?
Bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You can't be serious
Bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
Bloodninja: It's my fantasy.
sweet17: this is retarded
Bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
sweet17: Yes I want it.
Bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?
sweet17: sure
Bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
Bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
Bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
Bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
Bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth c**t.
sweet17: mmmm yeah
Bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.
sweet17: Har
Bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
Bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
Bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
Bloodninja: I softly suck on your cl*t bringing it in and out of my mouth.
Bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
Bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
Bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
Bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: HARRRRRRR
Bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
Bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
Bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: this is stupid
Bloodninja: ...still limp
Bloodninja: Do it!
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
Bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your a**hole.
Bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
Bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
sweet17: WTF?!?!?
Bloodninja: They stink really bad.
sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
Bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
Bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
Bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
sweet17: YOURE A F**KING PYSCHO!!
Bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
Bloodninja: And turn you into a f**king candy apple...
Bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
sweet17: F**K YOU A**HOLE!!
Bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
Bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
Bloodninja: ...going limp again.
Bloodninja: Hello?
Bloodninja: Say it!
Bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!
DirtyKate: K, but don't tell anybody ;-)
DirtyKate: Who are you?
Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
Bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
Bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
Bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
Bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
Bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
**pause**
DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
Bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.
Bloodninja: I'm on my way now though
**pause**
DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
Bloodninja: How did you know?
Bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
Bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate: ooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
Bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
Bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate: What the fuck?
DirtyKate: You perverted piece of s**t
DirtyKate: F**k
Scenario 2 :
sweet17: Hi
Bloodninja: hello
Bloodninja: who is this?
sweet17: just a someone?
Bloodninja: A someone I know?
sweet17: nope
Bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
sweet17: well sorrrrrry
sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
Bloodninja: why?
sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
Bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
sweet17: yes?
Bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
sweet17: paranoid?
Bloodninja: yes
sweet17: of what?
sweet17: me?
Bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding.
sweet17: LOL
Bloodninja: Don't f**king laugh at me!
Bloodninja: This s**t is serious!
sweet17: What are you hiding from?
Bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: gimme a f**king break
Bloodninja: I'm serious.
sweet17: I don't get it
Bloodninja: The cops are after me.
sweet17: For what?
Bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states
sweet17: For???
Bloodninja: It's kind of embarrasing.
Bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
Bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You are f**king sick.
Bloodninja: Send me your picture.
sweet17: why?
Bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them.
sweet17: One of what?
Bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you
Bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
sweet17: hold on
Bloodninja: Hurry up.
Bloodninja: Are you there?
Bloodninja: F**k you, cop!
sweet17: Hey sorry
sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
Bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
Bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
Bloodninja: Weren't you!?
sweet17: thats not it
Bloodninja: Then what?
sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
Bloodninja: Most cops aren't
sweet17: IM NOT A F**KING COP YOU A**HOLE!
Bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail?
Bloodninja: Just send it through here.
sweet17: alright *PIC*
sweet17: Did you get it?
Bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking.
sweet17: That was me back in may
sweet17: I've lost weight since then.
Bloodninja: I hope so
sweet17: what?!?
sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
Bloodninja: Did it?
sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
Bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
sweet17: yes
Bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
sweet17: kks
Bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
sweet17: this isn't you.
Bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!
sweet17: You don't look like that.
Bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
Bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
Bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
Bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
Bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
sweet17: Go f**k yourself
Bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
Bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.
sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me.
sweet17: you hurt me.
Bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
Bloodninja: Why would I do that?
sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you
Bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
sweet17: F((K YOU!!!
Bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs.
sweet17: You're a F**KING A**HOLE!
sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
Bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry.
sweet17: No you aren't
Bloodninja: You're right. I'm not.
Bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
sweet17: I'm done with you
Bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry.
sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore
Bloodninja: Wait a sec
Bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
Bloodninja: Wanna start over?
sweet17: No
Bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty
sweet17: You'll what?
Bloodninja: You heard me.
Bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty.
sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
Bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
Bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men.
Bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
sweet17: Like what?
Bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
sweet17: I don't know
Bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
sweet17: I'm afraid to
Bloodninja: Why?
sweet17: cause
Bloodninja: cause why?
sweet17: well lets see
sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?
Bloodninja: Nope
sweet17: well its strange to me
Bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
sweet17: I didn't say that
Bloodninja: So is that a yes?
sweet17: I guess so.
Bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
Bloodninja: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
Bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17: ???
Bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
Bloodninja: ok?
Bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You can't be serious
Bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
Bloodninja: It's my fantasy.
sweet17: this is retarded
Bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
sweet17: Yes I want it.
Bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?
sweet17: sure
Bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
Bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
Bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
Bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
Bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth c**t.
sweet17: mmmm yeah
Bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.
sweet17: Har
Bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
Bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
Bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
Bloodninja: I softly suck on your cl*t bringing it in and out of my mouth.
Bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
Bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
Bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
Bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: HARRRRRRR
Bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
Bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
Bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: this is stupid
Bloodninja: ...still limp
Bloodninja: Do it!
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
Bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your a**hole.
Bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
Bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
sweet17: WTF?!?!?
Bloodninja: They stink really bad.
sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
Bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
Bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
Bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
sweet17: YOURE A F**KING PYSCHO!!
Bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
Bloodninja: And turn you into a f**king candy apple...
Bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
sweet17: F**K YOU A**HOLE!!
Bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
Bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
Bloodninja: ...going limp again.
Bloodninja: Hello?
Bloodninja: Say it!
Bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!
OMG hahaha!! Bloody blood ninja!! I hope this certainly make your day because it certainly made mine! :)
*Credits to all sources, please don't sue me heh*
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